Tarzan's first (???) time

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for
30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped
holes in trees for sex.

Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary
figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered
Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in
awe for a while. Finally, overcome by this display of animal
passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him.

As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and
gave her a big kick in the crotch. In pain she screamed
"What the hell did you do that for?"

Tarzan replied, "Always check for squirrels."